The husband not only loves his wife, he respects her. He trusts her to make wise, right decisions on her own, even when they are not what he might have done. He accepts that there can be more than one ‘right’ way to do things. He is the authority in the house, but gladly gives her the freedom to act as she believes best. He only uses that authority in ways that are truly for her good, rather than to enforce his whims.

Because of this, the wife is able to love and submit to her husband without bitterness. When he exercises his authority, she knows it is never without deep thought and consideration for how it will affect her. This trust enables her to use her freedom and choices in ways that will benefit them both and please him, rather than feeling she has to defend herself from a careless autocracy. She will choose to make sacrifices for him that she would not willingly give up if they were demanded of her. Because of his respect and care for her, she joyfully supports him and desires to please him.

The reverse of this is plain: He puts his foot down at every opportunity, and she becomes bitter and rebels at the disrespect and sense of slavery, making selfish choices that confirm his want to control her and her choices.

I would rather be moved by love and respect than by bitterness and self-preservation.