Анекдоты, стихи, загадки, поговорки, считалки

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

Collected Near Marcogg

One for death and two for birth,
Three for wind and four for earth,
Five for fire, six for rain,
Seven's joy and eight is pain,
Nine to go, ten back again!

This STICK will TELL the ONE we CHOOSE
To BE the LORD in SHINing SHOES
To RUle LANDS both NEAR and FAR
The STICK says YOU will BE King THAR!

Under the ocean, green and deep
Lie the fishes fast asleep,
Under the arm and over the shoe,
Tap on the head, and out goes YOU!

One for sorrow,
two for joy,
three for a girl,
for for a boy,
five for silver,
six for gold,
seven for a secret,
never to be told,
eight for a wish,
nine for a kiss,
ten for a time
of joyous bliss.

Bee, a bee, a bumblebee
Stung a man upon his knee
And a hog upon his snout,
I'll be dogged if you ain't out!

Eeny, meeny, m ... Читать дальше »

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe

1... 2... Buckle my shoe
3... 4... Knock at the door
5... 6... Pick up sticks
7... 8... Lay them straight
9... 10... A big fat hen

11... 12... Dig and delve
13... 14... Maids a-courting
15... 16... Maids in the kitchen
17... 18... Maids a-waiting
19... 20... I've had plenty!

W-Ch-Sh-Ck

Which witch wished which wicked wish?
W-One

One-One was a racehorse; Two-Two was one, too.
When One-One won one race, Two-Two won one, too.
W-Th

Whenever the weather is cold.
Whenever the weather is hot.
We'll whether the weather,
whatever the weather,
whether we like it or not.

The two-twenty-two train tore through the tunnel.
T-W-Ch

If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
Tw

Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.
Tw-Th

A twister of twists once twisted a twist.
and the twist that he twisted was a three twisted twist.
now in twisting this twist, if a twist should untwist,
would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists.

S-Sh

The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
S-W-Ch

There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
Sh

Shy Shelly says she shall sew sheets.
Sh-S-Sl

She sees seas slapping shores.
Si-Sea

Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
Si-Sh

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
Si-St

Six stick shifts stuck shut.
Sl-Sh

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.
St-Sk-Th

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk (thought) the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Sw

R-Wh